Things I'm Loving Right Now...

(this tattoo and the idea of infinite love)

Cuddles with my Favorite Guy <3
The "Liquid Caramel Apple" Drink
Pumpkins
The Colors of the Leaves
The Fact that Leaves are Still Falling...and Landing on Snow
Elaborate Makeup for Halloween
My Boys <3 (Bradley, Joshua and Coleby)
Smiles and Laughter
Scarves and Petticoats
Cinnamon Sugar Apples
The DELICIOUS Blueberry Pancake Cupcakes with Maple Buttercream I made
My New Red Chucks
Hairbows

...I think that's it for now.
It's Friday and this weekend is about to be CRAZY!

Happy Weekend! <3

Ten People

So..it's 11:39pm. And I'm wiiiiide awake. Movies aren't cutting it for me. I already did all of my homework for next week....blah.
Something that I am realizing though, is that part of the rest I am so restless is because I all too often bite my tongue.
(If you know me, you're probably laughing quite vigorously right now - with as much as I talk, there is a lot more that I hold in.)
I remember back in the Myspace days (R.I.P.) that one bulletin/blog chain was called "Ten People" and you would number your page one to ten, then write a paragraph/sentence/exclamation, etc. to someone without using their names. It was really interesting and is a great way to get out the "things-you-wish-you-could-have-said". So, in true nostolgic fashion, I'm bringing it back and hoping that letting some emotion out will let me sleep. Here we go!

1. I don't understand what I've done to deserve the way you treat me. I have had the wonderful grades, the awesome resume, I've accomplished above-and-beyond in almost every aspect of my life. So why the cold shoulder? Why do I not deserve the time nor the care that you put into other people? It doesn't make sense to me and, on more than one occasion, I find myself crying about it. And I don't cry.

2. You. I finally tried to "grow some lady-balls" and tell you how I feel. Unfortunately, you're not on the same page. Other girls are good enough to waste your time on, but when it comes to me, you 'value our friendship too much'. Frankly, I thought you would have changed with everything that has happened in the last few months. But, either I was incredibly wrong, or you've grown accustomed to wearing your "hardcore-handsome-player-that-doesn't-have-feelings" mask again. Take it off. Please.

3. I wish you would just give me a straight, direct answer. I don't know where to go from here with you and I'm tired of hanging in the balance.

4. From what I can tell, we can apparently act like adults around eachother. I'm glad our time apart has made us mature and now I just hope that this is the first step to rekindling what used to be an amazing companionship.

5. Sweetheart, stop wasting your time trying to find someone to sleep with and work on finding someone worth waking up to. You'll be better off in the long run.

6. As much as I act like it doesn't bother me, I really do miss you and our amazing memories. I know I messed up just as much as you did, but there are so many things I wish I could take back. You were a great friend.

7. He's using you. And the next girl. You're an absolute doll and deserve so much better. I've been in your position, but I wish you would just run. Girl-to-girl, you don't need this.

8. Please stop drinking. I've seen what it can do in the long run and you are too good of a friend to be so terrible this early. I worry about you constantly.

9. I love your heart and I am envious of your spirit. You are so constantly happy and have the most optimistic outlook. I would kill to be as wonderful a person as you are.

10. Stop trying to put me down to make yourself feel better. For so many years, you've pushed me around and then wondered why I refused to be around you for so long. I don't see the need for it, especially when we've become so close over the years. The backhanded-compliment-insults aren't appreciated and I am better than that.

...Well, that is all. I do feel a little better. Dreamland, here I come!(hopefully)

<3